Planting The Seed - Pressure, Grief and Hope.
Let's consciously prepare the ground, sow seeds, cultivate, and harvest what matters to us in each season of our lives.
Planting the Seed
What a week.
I handed in my book manuscript on Monday to my editor and publisher.
The following day, our youngest turned eighteen.
We no longer have children; we are now a family of four adults.
I have been surprised by how the grief has shown up, like when I see a family of four and the children are under ten.
Or when my husband cleared boxes, we found one of the children’s onesies.
There have been grief-related emotions, and I have been in the book cave for the last few weeks. The energy it takes to meet a deadline pushes almost everything else out of view.
Whenever I write a book, I listen to a few of the same albums on repeat for most of the first draft, so for ten months in this case, and then a few weeks before the final push, I have to change everything up.
It's like my brain has got stuck, and I need to shift the energy, so I shift it through music.
I love to write in bed, and I started doing this during the pandemic. It feels equally naughty and luxurious. I also love writing at my desk, looking at the apple and cherry trees. But in those final weeks, I moved to random cafes and libraries.
I had the comfort of dear friends (who are either authors, mothers, or both) as I felt myself being swallowed by the book cave and the moments when I was hit by the grief and joy of no longer having ‘children.’
You may not be a writer, but you probably know about deadlines. You undoubtedly know about pressure even if you don’t have to work toward deadlines. You may not be a parent, but you know about grief, a change of circumstances, a shift in being.
When we are in seasons of life that take everything we have, we must make sure we ask for everything we need.
Self-leadership is knowing when to ask.
Life is not about ‘keeping it all together’ all the time. Life is a series of seasons; in some, we need less support; in others, we need all the support we can get.
Some people in your life know you are under pressure or in a season of grief.
Let them support you. Surrender to support. You are not a burden. They want to be there for you.
Let them.
And now, flowers.
As a coach, it is not the done thing to tell people what to do, but I will go out on a limb this year as I have for the last two years.
I have received many messages and pictures over the last couple of years from people who heeded my advice and were grateful they did.
If you reside in a country that is currently in autumn, treat yourself to some bulbs. Even just one pot, with some daffodils, will bring you such warmth and delight.
May is a great month for bulb planting, and they are so easy. You plant them in soil (read the packet for depth to plant), and they come up when they are ready.
There is a reason why Mother Earth gives us daffodils; they are the golden light at the end of a dark winter. Planting bulbs is the physical expression of planting hope for a brighter future.
Wishing you a weekend of asking for what you need and planting hope. xxx
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I do not mean ‘going with the flow’ adaptability. I mean adaptability to what and who we think we are, what we will do and what we will not do. Who we think we are and who we think we are not.
And then we do the thing we thought we wouldn’t.
Or become who we thought we weren’t.
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