Planting the Seed - Small Steps and Small Exposures.
I shared with Murdu the concept of acclimatisation (small steps and small exposures) and how it allows us to gently transplant ourselves from one reality to another.
Murdu decided to work with me, because of a work decision she needed to make.
As a single mother, she had a responsibility to her children but also needed challenging work, and her current role was not providing that challenge. Though she did mention that single parenting was providing her with all the challenge she needed.
About halfway through our work together, Murdu decided that although intellectual challenge was ideal, her focus was on receiving a higher income in this season of her life with two primary-aged children. She decided to stay where she was but ask for a raise.
Once this had been decided, another aspect of her life came to the surface. Murdu was a painter. She had exhibited in the past, and hoped to do this again, but right now she just wanted to fit it back into her life.
As a parent, there are always time pressures, but there is also the mental and emotional energy parenting takes. Fitting something else in is not just about the perceived lack of time; it's also about the energy it takes to add something else to our lives when we are already stretched.
After one coaching session, Murdu decided to try painting a 5cm-by-5cm canvas before our next two-week session. She used to do these smaller canvases as prep for bigger works. She would also use those two weeks to explore the best time for her to paint and if her relationship with painting had changed since becoming a mother.
In her next session, she shared that she still loves painting, and she could feel herself ‘coming back to herself’. But she found herself projecting out into the future and thinking, what is the point of this? "I’ll never have time to create enough work for an exhibition. What will I do, exhibit 5cm by 5cm paintings?”
“Maybe”, I responded.
I shared with Murdu the concept of acclimatisation (small steps and small exposures) and how it allows us to gently transplant ourselves from one reality to another.
“What would help you to acclimatise to creating art again?”
“Before the children were born, I always went to art galleries.” Some of my favourite local artists are exhibiting soon, but I think it’ll make me sad. And a bitter and cynical creative!”
“And it could deepen your sense of ‘coming back to yourself’. You can use your bitter cynicism in your art!!"
About a year after we finished our work together, Murdu emailed me with some art she would be exhibiting at an upcoming local show.
Murdu is one of many clients who have found that acclimatisation creates sustainable and enriching growth.
Wishing you a weekend of small steps and small exposures. xxx
Other Events:
The 1st Ever Harvest Gathering:
A live group-coaching and journalling session for Paid Subscribers – August 1 at 9am AEST w/replay. If you would like to attend the event, consider becoming a paid subscriber if you’re not already.
Paid subscribers: keep scrolling to the bottom of the page to register ⬇️
USA Author Adventure:
Details for some events are still being locked in, but I can share some dates and locations with you.
Atlanta – Sept 21 – (In-person event, Save the date – more to come)
New York – Events and dates TBC
Boston – Sept 25 – Threshold | Cultivating Wisdom and Ease for What’s Next
A full-day in-person workshop with my dear friends and fellow authors, and (Save the Date – More to come)
LA - A Writers Room Retreat (in person and online)
Last year, I attended as a writer and speaker; this event is a unique and nourishing experience. I’ll be speaking virtually this year, and the lineup of speakers is awe-inspiring: Cheryl Strayed, Marlon James, Ann Lamont, Cole Arthur Riley, Amiee McPhee, and many others.
Everything you need to know about the event is here.
The Harvest - Fifty Lessons at Fifty…with some help from you.
It is my 50th birthday month, and I wanted to compile and share what I have learned in the last fifty years. Fifty at Fifty, I thought, that's got a nice edge to it, but I only got to forty. This is not an insufficient number of things to learn in one's lifetime, but you know…Fifty at Fifty rolls off the tongue.
Below is my list so far….and then I need your wisdom and input. Because one of the things I have learnt is that I do not know all the answers.
So please indulge me with your expected or learned wisdom.
For the under fifty's:
What do you want to learn about yourself or life by age fifty?
For the fifty and over:
What are you glad you have learned about yourself or life by the time you reached fifty?
From your input and wisdom, I'll add the ones that are also true for me, and then we'll have a democratic manifesto for midlife. Which means we will all be peachy from here. Doesn't it? ☺
Let us begin.
1. Friendships are for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Not all will make it to the end; be thankful for each one. Let go and be let go of.
2. Some wounds will not heal and that is okay.
3. Call friends when you are already on your knees.
4. Call friends before you are on your knees.
5. Go towards the light, especially during the darkness.
6. The things you relished as a child will still delight you; protect and honour your delight.
7. It is not hard to be disapproved of as a woman, so live with your own approval.
8. You will find that getting your nails done feels like wasting your life; you'll still do it for your holidays and regret it each time.
9. Finding beauty in yourself and others is enough of a life.
10. Safety can and must be created.
11. The hardest decisions you have ever made are likely to be the best decisions you ever made.
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